Optimistic

When I was young,There was a Gospel group called Sounds of Blackness..And they had this song called "Optimistic".Throughout my life,that song had more meaning than I would ever know..Enduring so much pain,death,heartache,abuse from my ex husband,and other horrible,tragic things that happened-That song would pop in my head when I would be sobbing uncontrollably about whatever situation I would be facing at that time.
Fast forward about 15 yrs. The song is still one of my favorites..and something I listen to often.It brings me hope and peace,and knowing God's word says clearly what man is denying..not only to me but Phil as well. "You can win..as long as you keep..your head to the sky..be optimistic".When I hear my family-or even some of his family saying negative things about the situation-I hold on to the Optimism and the Word that God has given me thru this situation.I refuse to let this situation get the best of me.Or of Phil.We will be together soon.
I get where people are being negative,because he has a past before he got saved and before he really grew up-where he took the rap instead of snitching on friends,and got himself a record.I will not lie and say he was completely innocent in both cases,because he wasn't.He was around them and he was not 100% at fault either way as well.But now that all this is going on,they are being HUGELY negative.As well as on yet another social network,where I received a Direct message saying I seemed like a scammer and needed to give details,etc.
WELL....SOME people are not all there in the world..I cant just put EXTRA personal info like that out there unless it is beneficial to the defense fund..because addresses,etc are in there and I cant just give that info to ANYONE..you know?
I am online for a reason.I need to help my husband in any and every way I can.I pray for him,I have people pray with me for him.People locally are donating,but jobs are so scarce in this tiny place many cant.He has friends who buy waverunners,Hummers,etc. And own businesses,but I have not heard from any of them at all.
This situation is a mess.Phil walked in someone's house that he was uncomfortable around previously..because they had repaired appliances before there and he didn't like being there...
(I mean-honestly-If I was on probation and had changed my life,and there is a house full of people smoking various drugs,and with their minor daughter as well..and I was not in my vehicle; but with the boss, I would be trying to hurry and get out of there too.)and he was steadily being offered a hit of this and a hit of that..and telling these people over and over again-I am on papers,I am a Christian God fearing man,I dont do all that..
He puts a new hose on a washer,tells them about a broken gun his cousin has for sale for a friend and ends up being on the bad side of a bribe..
Then friday(the next day)these horrible people are calling the boss' son over and over again telling him they need their money back for the appliances AND they wanted to keep them TOO and if they DIDNT get what they wanted by the end of the day..they would call the cops on the "Black dude that knew about the gun on probation"...?????? And then...2 days later,the police come and get my husband..??? That cant EVEN be made up..My husband is a victim and My kids and I and even his parents are suffering..But scammer-I will never ever be or have been.
I chose to remain optimistic even through what this person said in the message,and have still been getting love from friends on there who want to help spread the word.
Some times I wonder how things would of went,if Phil wasnt "the black dude on probation"..and instead had been of another race..or even had been the boss' son.I wonder how things would of went,if the Police actually were doing their job 100%..would these people still be driving around,free as a bird,smoking crack,marijuana,and whatever else with their underage daughter(I know she is underage,because when I was questioned about the gun,they said one of the witnesses was 15)...Knowing full well when they called the police TWO DAYS LATER..they would have to give a statement..it was well rehearsed actually when everyone was together..but when seperated...they all were telling completely different and conflicting stories-so much so that the investigator gave them til monday to say it was a mistake,and they misunderstood the entire situation-but instead,they thought they could make a KILLING by victimizing themselves..by selling and using drugs in front of their CHILD and the other 7 people in the house that didn't even say a word about any of this(just the husband,wife and daughter)..and since the heat is all on "black dude"...they can look like the poor,poor people who live in the country and manufacture and sell all types of drugs AND use them as well..All because they lied on my husband.
But,Optimism has kept him going as well.He is STILL preaching in there.He is STILL writing daily bible verses with mini sermonettes.He actually is getting baptized for the 2nd time today as well.I wish to God I could come and see it but I cant..Visitation was Sat. I am so very very proud of Phil,and WHEN,not IF he comes home within the next few days or weeks..I want him to see this and KNOW of all the struggles,prayers,tears and love I have had for and about him.I know he knows how I stay awake,insomnia kicking me in the head,as I try and try to figure out what to do next,to make the rest of this money for the atty.
I will not let Satan continue to take this situation and make me depressed,or make me even think that he isnt coming home soon-because he is.Phil may not be perfect..but he is GOD's Son..He is MY soulmate and husband,best friend and life partner..and He is the father to my children.I pray that God continues optimism in all of us and in everyone involved..and I pray today is the day he comes home.
Sorry about his sermonettes not being posted yet..I have been fundraising out and about and all..They will be posted soon.
God bless and have a wonderful week..
Until next time-
~* A Praying Wifey *~