Today is Father's Day...and it feels different.The past 4 Father's Days..Phil was lying beside me and before he could even wake up good..I always would tell him Thank you for being the best father figure for my oldest daughter in her daddy's absence..and thank you for giving me 2 little blessings on top of taking care 150% of one that came with the package when you got with me.
I feel a little numb..but I know through it all,Jesus is there every step of the way,holding me and comforting me..taking care of me..And in revival friday night..it came to me. Phil's cousin's wife shot up out of her seat and ran to me.She said for me to do a lap for victory around the church,because she felt God telling her the victory has been won and Phil wont be there long.This was my 2nd time doing that..and my 2nd time ever to give praise like that.I remember telling God thank you for the victory and just like that..Praise mode entered.I came to a while later,exhausted,out of breath,shaking and feeling SOOOOO overwhelmingly good..Something I haven't felt in about 20 plus days,since the last time I was held by my love before going to sleep.It was a very ironic moment..as I just had felt like collapsing on the floor and crying for my husband not even 5 minuites before she did that.I had taken Baby J outside to get him something to drink out of the fellowship hall..when I saw it.The thing that made my night sad all over again.I saw..his truck.His dad has been driving it the past 3 weeks he has been gone.I about lost it.I touched it as if it was his coffin and tried to hold back the tears..as Baby J was trying to wriggle and get in it(the passenger window,broken by me a few months ago while helping him pick up a mower..was down..and Baby J and his sister always sat in there with Daddy as he did things outside when he got home from work.).I had to hold myself together with my heart in the pit of my stomach so I could get back in church and not miss anymore than I had to.
EVERYONE felt the victory for Phil.There was probably maybe 6 people NOT thanking Jesus or Praising or shouting,and those were the kids 15 and under.Everyone else was feeling it.And that made me feel a LOT better.It didnt matter that my radiator had FINALLY gotten here earlier in the day..and I couldnt get anyone to put it in because everyone was at church getting ready...It didnt matter that Phil wasnt there..for the first time in weeks..I was sure..He will be there within the next couple of weeks,and nothing or no one is stopping him.Because GOD IS IN CONTROL and He has already given him favor in that area..and I thank Him for it.
On Saturday..when I was planning to come and make the blog..I felt a bit down because there is one follower.I didn't even want to see how the fundraising was going,because people who claimed to be his friends..only one,and that is a older one at that,stepped up and actually helped us.The only people we have had..is JESUS.. all of our Prayer warriors,Prayer partners, and our families.(I am so very thankful to you if you are reading this!)I decided to bust my hump and get to work manually on getting donations so I can pay the remaining balance of the Defense fund Monday.Then..my other blessing happened.The car finally got fixed and we got blessed in more than one way.I was SO happy..I AM so happy.I finally got to talk to Phil..
He was in a wonderful mood when I went to see him.He was at the table talking to some other men who are in the cell with him.What hit me though..when I got there,I saw a old friend whose boyfriend is in there too.I told another lady of how Phil is praising and pastoring and fulfilling his purpose..and the old friend and her boyfriend's mom were like-is THAT the one who is preaching in here?He told us about him! I was honored to be the man with a positive attitude who is FINALLY not running from his calling's wife. I told Phil and he was grinning like I brought him a huge meal or something.The guy next to him in the visitor window told me as well Phil is encouraging and everything.The Admin there @ the jail..said the same thing.She talked of how sweet and mannerable and encouraging and positive he is.I told her this was my last weekend coming to the jail because he will be home next weekend and I am speaking it into existance.She said a positive attitude always helps and she believes it too. Phil was excited about the blog..first time he really ever has been excited about me being online doing anything..and was praying that he gets donations.I am leaving that part to God..He did MAJOR things for us this weekend..I am sure that tomorrow when the Defense team gets back from Lunch,I will be walking in there with the money that he owes them and they will be working all week on his case.Because even they know that he is innocent beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I wonder in the back of my head for the others who are involved..do they even know he is a father?I wonder if they know he has us,a family,wishing they hadn't figured out they would cash in on a man who once was lost but now is found..I wonder if they know this man is in there having to think of his children missing out on him being home for Father's day.I wonder if they want to take their lie back.But it is too late.My husband is covered in the BLOOD of HIS FATHER and rest assured,he will be in my arms safely..asap.They have already gotten their 15 minuites of fame,blaming this poor soul of a crime his huge heart could have NEVER committed.Oh yeah-I forgot.They said he said he was kidding and walked out the door.Yeah,that sounds real true.
This Father's Day..I will think of him while I go to see my Dad..and Go visit my Granddaddy's grave.I will think of him every second of every minuite,like I always do,since he has been gone.I thought of him a lot when he was home,or gone helping people,or just not at home..but I will think extra hard of him as I celebrate the end of the revival with his family and friends at church at the picnic they are having..I will think of him while I listen to our songs heading to my hometown for a little while..I will think of him while I pass through the little town on the way home to Mama's that he got one of his first tickets at for going 5 miles over the speeding limit.
I will think of him as I pray for his miracle release..and as I think of how good it will feel to walk in with my head held high,Praising God for the breakthrough and the blessing that got me to that office tomorrow to meet w/the attorneys..and I will think of him as I pray for the next chapter that will begin in our lives when he comes home-the chapter of a man accepting his calling and recieving his destiny,to follow his father and godfather's footsteps as a wonderful pastor.
Please keep us and especially Phillip in your prayers..and thank you to all who already are or have helped in that way or any way.
Until tomorrow...
~*A Praying Wifey*~
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